Supernatural Demon Tablet

This is a replica of the legendary demon tablet which reveals all the summonings, binding rituals, control, banishments and exorcism rites as well as ways to permanently destroy any being from the pits of hell.* Of course you must be an infernal prophet to read it, but that?s between you and Lucifer. This replica is of solid wood and very heavy. So heavy in fact that it may have been created from fabled rockwood or stonewood.

*Use any knowledge gained from this tablet at your own risk. No warranty or guarantee expressed or implied. No refunds but we absolutely swear that it is not cursed to the best of our cursory examination. Buyer agrees to hold Venerable Viking completely irresponsible of any maimings or loss from use of said tablet. May cause certain side effects such as Toxic epidermal necrolysis, Hand-foot syndrome, Nerve damage, Loss of smell, Priapism, Unusual impulsive behavior, Abnormal dreams, Akathisia, Onycholysis, joint pain, projectile vomiting, compulsively repeating the word "Ni!," visions of the Virgin Mary with sharp and pointy teeth, a growing dissatisfaction with life, shortening of the intestines, retroactive birth defects, impotence, and a lowering of the voice and/or a testicle.

Most users will find the Demon Tablet addictive and twenty minutes after use they will feel an insatiable craving to use it again and consistently. Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 30 should avoid prolonged exposure to the Demon Tablet. If the Demon Tablet begins smoke, get away immediately.  Seek shelter and cover head. Do not taunt the Demon Tablet.