PLEASE BE ADVISED!
The product we sell is merely a replica of the legendary demon tablet* . However, the inscriptions may be close enough to the original that we were advised by our lawyers to inform any and all customers, on the extremely rare case they may be able to read it.
We would like to take this opportunity to reiterate that use any knowledge gained from this tablet at your own risk. No warranty or guarantee expressed or implied. No refunds will be accepted on this product once it has been read (or even examined), but we absolutely swear that it is not cursed to the best of our cursory examination. Buyer agrees to hold Venerable Viking completely irresponsible of any maimings or loss from use of said tablet.
POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS:
May cause toxic epidermal necrolysis, Hand-foot syndrome, Nerve damage, Loss of smell, Priapism, Unusual impulsive behavior, Abnormal dreams, Akathisia, Onycholysis, joint pain, projectile vomiting, compulsively repeating the word "Ni!," visions of the Virgin Mary with sharp and pointy teeth, a growing dissatisfaction with life, shortening of the intestines, retroactive birth defects, impotence, and a lowering of the voice and/or lowering of a testicle.
Most users will find the Demon Tablet addictive and twenty minutes after use they may feel an insatiable craving to use it again and consistently. Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 30 should avoid prolonged exposure to the Demon Tablet. If the Demon Tablet begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Do not taunt the Demon Tablet.
*This is our version of the demon tablet from the CW television series: Supernatural.